That’s a great story Holly! It’s amazing what seeking first to understand can do. There’s a quote, I think attributed to a few different people, that the opposite of speaking isn’t listening, it’s waiting to speak. You said it — a lost art indeed!

I had a small example of #5, yesterday: Someone asked about Disqus and whether they ought to be wary of authorizing a connection with their Facebook account. I thought they were merely worried about security, but after chatting a bit – listening, talking, listening some more (even though the exchange was in email), it came down to the fact that this woman wanted a GRAVATAR. She wanted to know how to get her profile picture next to her comments like all the others she’d seen elsewhere, and thought signing in through Facebook might do it. If I’d just tossed out the first answer and not engaged in a little chatter with her to make sure that she understood what I was trying to say, I would not have gotten the additional information that enabled me to understand what SHE was trying to accomplish, and her problem would not have been solved at all.

Hi Adrian, I couldn’t agree more about Habit 5. We would be hard pressed to find many areas of life where this habit could not greatly improve our outcomes. Of all the habits, I think it is the one that gives the greatest Return on Effort.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

I think Habit 5 is essential in delivering great customer service but it is also a lesson that we should not forget when dealing with anyone in our lives whether they are our customer, our team member or someone from our personal lives. If more people did this more often I suspect the world and all of our businesses would be better for it.

Adrian

“Live in my moment, not your future.” I like that. Quite a clever turn of phrase. As for the second quote, it’s a good point: if we expect people to listen, we need to say something worthwhile.

I also have a line from Lance Secretan’s Book, Living the Moment, that I always use: “live in my moment, not in your future”, as well as Robin Sharma’s “It’s not important what I say. It’s important what you think after I stop speaking.” The latter example is a bit of the reverse of listening, but it’s about seeing and seeking if you were understood in what was said. Cheers! Kaarina

I think we’re on the same reading plan… I’m so glad about the advent of eBooks; at least I won’t destroy another forest in the Northwest buying business books over the next 20 years. I too have a number of shelves of unfinished business books. The 7 Habits was one I finished; the message was, as you say, tried and true.